"My friend ended up deformed": how to answer the patient

"My friend had it done and ended up deformed." The sentence drops into the middle of the consultation like a stone. You do not know what the friend had done, with whom, with which product, or whether the story is accurate. But you know what the patient wants to hear: that this will not happen to them.

That is exactly the answer you cannot give. The right approach is to acknowledge the fear, inform honestly and talk about your method, without commenting on someone else's work.

What does the sentence reveal?

More than the fact itself, the story reveals the patient's fear. They may be saying:

• "I'm afraid of ending up deformed."
• "I don't trust harmonization."
• "I want to be sure you are different."
• "I need an excuse not to decide today."

Asking is better than guessing. The text patient afraid of a serious complication covers anxiety, and anxious patient in the consultation helps with tone.

Why not criticize the colleague?

You did not see the case. You do not know the product, the technique, the starting point or whether the instructions were followed. Criticizing without that information is unfair, unethical and usually comes back against you. Also, the patient tends to remember the criticism and repeat it. If one day you have a complication, their words will be your mirror.

• Describe your method, not other people's. "This is how I work" is worth more than "they work badly".
• Acknowledge that complications exist. It is true and it builds credibility.
• Avoid adjectives for someone else's case. "Badly done", "excessive" and "amateur" are judgments with no basis.

What to say about your method?

Talk about what is real and verifiable: prior assessment, a staged approach, use of approved materials, preparation for complications and a contact channel. Avoid promises.

You can add the risk conversation, per risks of each procedure, and the complication plan from is this safe?.

What does "deformed" mean to the patient?

The word is vague. It can be excess volume, asymmetry, an artificial face, a nodule, necrosis or simply a difference in taste. Ask the patient to describe how the friend ended up, in their own words, or to show a photo, if the friend allows it. Each situation has a different explanation:

In hyaluronic acid cases, it is worth mentioning hyaluronidase as a possible resource in specific situations, without promising that it fixes everything.

How to turn fear into dialogue?

Fear is information. Use it to understand the patient's limit and propose a path within it. A few ideas:

• Start smaller. Short stages, with an early follow-up.
• Show the plan. An illustrative image helps align expectations.
• State the right to stop. The patient can interrupt at any time.
• Give time. They do not need to decide today.

How does Harmy help anchor expectations?

Checklist

Someone who admits there is risk and shows how they manage it conveys more safety than someone who swears it does not exist. It is the combination of humility and preparation that truly disarms fear.

What if the story is true and serious?

Sometimes the story is about a real and serious case, such as necrosis or vision loss, that circulated around town. Do not downplay it. Acknowledge that serious complications exist, explain in plain language what makes them rare and what is done to reduce the risk, and make clear that, if it happens, the response is immediate and the conversation continues. The patient does not expect you to deny the risk, they expect you to take it seriously. See patient afraid of a serious complication and areas requiring care.

How to record the conversation?

Note that the patient brought up the story, what they said they fear, what was explained and whether they decided to wait, go ahead or give up. This record shows that consent was informed and that the fear was heard. See recording the risk communication.